The Puckering Pickler

I have just as much desire, as the average person, to want my summer entertainment to be on the ‘light’ side. When the weather is warm I would rather read a ‘People’ magazine than Tolstoy’s ‘War and Peace’. This time of year is conducive to watching a summer movie with a facile plot, special effects, and a happy ending. Is anyone up for ‘The Avengers’ or ‘Mission Impossible’ sequels?

Then there is easy listening music that sounds just right at the neighborhood barbecue. How about rock from the Eagles, or new country from Taylor Swift, or, perhaps like me, you like the ‘oldies’. The Four Seasons, Buddy Holly, and, of course, our friend…….

I sat at the table looking at my companions. I felt tired and irritable. I had arrived at Kowq’s Earth residence at 10am, and now it was 4pm. Yujoil, Elvis, and I had been trying to come up with a plot. It had to, eventually, tie in to pickleball. I had an idea for that. What I couldn’t think of was what the young Presley was doing here to start with.

Elvis came up with the idea of a ‘rocking’ alternative universe theory. When I told him I didn’t like the plot, he said–”I thought you were going to be a good guy DJ, now I see ‘you ain’t nothing but a hound dog’.

Yuj thought that ‘our’ Elvis could be the ‘original’ Elvis’s son. ”Lame,” I said.

I thought of the idea of ‘our’ Elvis being an android.

Elvis shook his head, ”They said you were high class,” he said, ”well that was just a lie. You ain’t never caught a rabbit and you ain’t no….”

I held up my hand, ”Alright,” I said, ”I get it! I’m a lousy writer….. It’s just impossible though. There’s no good reason for you to be here Elvis.”

The King looked at me sadly. ”I’m sorry DJ,” he said, ”but I ain’t going to be no android.”

Elvis was right. We needed some help. Just then Yujoil’s cousin Flushel pulled up in the van with Jean and McDeep. My genie had brought me a large coffee. I was grateful. Yuj’s hot beverages tasted like ground grass clippings. After introductions, I got Jean and Dalton up to speed on the Elvis problem. Right away Jean came up with a plot.

”It’s very simple Dawkless,” she said, ”twenty five years ago the Zweegian scientists find a mosquito inside some pitch from a tree at Graceland. Naturally, inside is the original Elvis’s DNA. A wee bit of cloning, and abracadabra, you have your Elvis!”

After Jean spoke, everyone cheered for her idea. Everyone, that is, but me.

”Quiet down everyone,” I said. ”That mosquito bit is way too much like the Jurassic Park movie. I’ll get sued by Steven Spielberg or Michael Crichton’s estate.”

”Well Mr. Worries,” said Jean. ”The bug inside the pitch doesn’t have to be a mosquito.”

I looked at Jean and a light bulb went on in my head. Of course! It didn’t have to be a mosquito! The first Elvis Presley had been bitten by the blue tail fly!

……to be continued next week.

For new readers who want to get caught up on the ‘crock pot’, go to:

Pearkes is open this week for the summer schedule on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. However, the popular Curling Club pickleball session is closed on Monday for the BC day stat holiday, so, ……. make sure you go to McMinn on Monday morning! I think there will be a surprise!

I would suggest that people get there by 9 or 10am.

In last weeks’ poll results, 14 out of 16 players prefer playing outdoors with an indoor ball. Some people also mentioned liking the new red ball for play at McMinn. I was surprised the results were so lopsided towards the indoor ball!

I think that some people may be already planning their winter getaway plans. Here is some info on the site of this years US Pickleball Nationals, November 8th – 15th.

Palm Creek Golf and RV Resort

You can rent a park model for $1540 – $2261 US per month, or $407 – $613 per week.

When the tournament is not on they have 12 scheduled and 8 open play pickleball courts.

Scheduled play starts at 10am. They have Round Robins in Womens, Mens, and Mixed. On Sundays they have couples RR’s.

Round Robins play is at levels: 2.0 – 5.0.

There are ‘rated’ and non-rated Round Robins. If it is rated, you must have a USAPA rating to play in that RR.

In the non-rated RRs you must pick a level for that week and stay there. If you guess wrong, and have only played one game, the organizers would probably be understanding, and let you go to the correct level.

I have more info on the play there, and if anyone is interested, I can send you more detail about the pickleball at Palm Creek. The courts there look beautiful!

I got the following email from Dave McNeill, the facilitator for pickleball at the Curling Club at 1952 Quadra St., concerning the apparent conflict between the Curling Club tournament in Victoria and Mexican Scramble tournament in Nanaimo on the same date – Sept 5th.

Hi Doug

This is not meant to be a controversy. I explained to some people that my hands are tied. The week be Sept 5th is the senior games in North Van, the week after the ice goes back in the CC. We could not do anything in the way of a ‘get together’, but some people thought a ‘get together’ may be a good thing to do before the ice goes back.

I am reluctant to build this up as a ‘tournament’ ….please stress that…it is only a social…a get together with a bit of PB thrown in to showcase our sport, to show it to the city, and let them know about our ‘vibrant’ community of ‘picklers’. If anyone wants a tournament, they should go to Nanaimo. If you want to help ‘showcase’ our sport in Victoria, come to the CC.

Get togethers of like minded people are always fun. We are a sport but we are also a very social group of individuals…part of the appeal of PB for a great many people.

Thanks, Doug


Thank you Dave for explaining things so well!!

MEXICAN MADNESS                                             CURLING CLUB TOURNAMENT
Sept 5th, 8am to 5pm                                              Sept 5th, 10am to 3pm
Registration 250-756-5200 code 138705            Registration 250-361-0732

I just want to everyone know, when you want ‘all’ the latest pickleball news and tournament info, make sure you check out the VIPA website. Thanks Ken Holman for keeping us all well informed.

I was interested in reading an article in JLu’s pickleball blog about staying hydrated during warm weather play. There are lots of good suggestion about replacing your lost electrolytes by eating or drinking salty foods.

I thought I would put my own small suggestion in for your consideration:

It’s time. I’ve been composing odes to the PB game. DD has been writing his book. We need a break,… then, I think of having a ‘cold one’.

Yes, I grab my tankard, Deep takes his, and we toast the end of a long productive day, and take a healthy swig of…..pickle juice!

Ah…what better way to reward yourself than the tang of vinegar, garlic juice, and who knows what else is used to preserve kosher dills. Some people throw out that residue. No….I say, ‘drink it up.’

Or, pamper yourself with a special treat by churning it with chocolate ice cream for a low fat milk-less shake. Mmmmm…sweet!

Try this when guest arrive – equal parts pickle juice, mustard, juice from a tin of canned salmon, and vodka. Garnish with a slice of lime for a party drink I call the ‘Salt Chuck’. Wow, everyone will want that recipe!

Why not give it to them? Send me a cheque to get your copy of my book:

‘A Hundred And One Tangy, Tasty Pickle Juice Recipes’

Only $19.95…order yours today. Yum!!

I got an email from Alice Tromp about a good cause in need of volunteers. To sign up go to this link: snowbirds-fly-for-child-volunteers

I received an email from Brenda Hardy about the meeting about pickleball at Central Saanich. Councillor Carl Jensen moved that pickleball lines be added to one tennis court at Centennial Park.

The motion was carried. Brenda considers it a ‘baby step’ in the right direction.

Thanks to Rosemary Nichol for the info on Palm Creek Resort.

More PB mecca stuff, more Elvis, and a surprise twist to the story. If anyone is a vegetarian, could they contact me by email about an idea I have…


Thanks for the game,


Tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *